Too Much Pumpkin!

I can hardly wait for fall! Soon it will be all things pumpkin. Last year, I ate so much pumpkin that I went through horrible withdrawals when the season ended. It got so bad, I had to use a pumpkin patch. (insert rim shot)

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There’s something about this time of year that is so awesome. After a hot summer, the coolness in the air is wonderful, the crisp mornings, the leaves changing color and the New York Mets watching the World Series at home.

The best holidays land in the fall. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are all coming up fast. Retailers are busy preparing for back to school sales, but I'm also seeing Halloween merchandise in the ads and on the shelves. For many, this is their favorite holiday. Really?

I don't get it. There is very little I like about Halloween. We can't wait to open the door and hand out treats to perfect strangers. In this day and age, that's just plain dangerous. How do we know that the kids on the porch, hiding behind masks, are not merely neerdowell midgets just waiting for the right time to conduct a home invasion?

Many people like to create a very scary environment for the trick or treaters. This is not wise because many of the treat seekers are older kids and I don't think I want to tick them off just before they get to my door. They can't be trusted. Your house could get egged or, at the very least tp'd. That's just nasty business.

I'm in favor of the honor system. Just leave a big bowl of candy on the porch and let the kids help themselves while you go out to dinner. You'll lose the bowl, but that's a small price to pay for avoiding the potential pitfalls this night might hold.

There are some things I enjoy about Halloween. I like to go through the candy before the little freeloaders arrive and remove the best candy bars to eat later on while watching "Scary Movie 15".

We have a tradition of making homemade chili out of the can, with processed cheese and just enough onion to turn your breath into an invisible deadly vapor and completely obliterate any hope of a more amorous trick or treat session later. The meal is not very healthy, but it tastes great.

Thanksgiving is a great holiday, too. I love it. You know who else loves it? Bulimics. It's "binge and purge day" for them. I think I might have just crossed the line, so I better end this blog. I just hope that there are no bulimic midgets reading it. If they find out where I live, there's going to be trouble.

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See you tomorrow.

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Happy Stressful Holidays!

It's never really the official start of the holidays until someone in the family has a nervous meltdown.

Let's face it, we all know it's a stressful time for everyone. Why? We choose to make it so. Even the kids are stressed. Will I get the X-Box? The doll house? The cellphone?

One of my favorite Christmas movies is "Christmas Vacation". Aside from the side splitting laughter, there is a great line delivered by Clark's Dad. He tells Clark that his problem is that he's trying to create the perfect Christmas and then says "There's no such thing."

If we could truly understand that, we could relieve the stress. It all starts with creating the perfect Thanksgiving for family and friends. There's no need. i get the fact that a young woman will want the house perfect, as well as the meal, especially if it's the first hosting opportunity.

Then comes Black Friday. Insane. Millions of melt downs on that day, and it officially starts the holiday shopping frenzy. Some people love it. They actually enjoy standing out in a line of people sickles, only to discover that most can't get what they came for anyway. Those deals are snatched up by those who willingly destroyed their Thanksgiving by standing in line about noon on Thursday.

Traffic, post office, wrapping, oops - I forgot about Aunt Sallie, unexpected gifts that force you to brave the last minute crowds, baking...

It's no wonder so many people get wasted on New Years eve. It's the culmination of all of the insanity. Time to put the holiday season behind us and relax. Some don't drink and find other ways to let it go.

Tomorrow, I will give you some great ways to have a sane holiday season. Right now, however, I have to check my budget because I just got a popcorn tin from my neighbor.

See you tomorrow.

Holiday Hunger

I hate diets. I'm on one now. Actually, I'm on two, you can't seem to eat enough on one.

It is so tough to maintain your weight through the holidays. There seems to be food at every turn. Pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, sugar cookies, fudge, candy, cakes, pies... the list is seemingly endless.

If you work in an office, you know someone will be bringing a treat of some kind in. It just happens. Always has, always will.

People are either happy or miserable this time of year. Either way, we eat  boatloads (metric system) of food that are loaded with calories. Most people ignore the scale until they sober up on New Years day.

During this season, I weigh myself every morning. It helps keep me in check. If I gain a pound, I take it easy on the groceries that day. I'll still have some treats, but in moderation. Right now, there's a slice of red velvet cheese cake in the fridge with my name all over it.

I've worked too hard through the year to gain it all back in two months, so I avoid the treats during the week, and do what I want during the weekend. That seems to work for me.

How about you? Do you have a system? Do you struggle? I'd love to hear about it. Just leave a comment below.

I'm going to sign off now. That cheesecake isn't going to eat itself.

See you tomorrow.