101 year old man running for Congress!

Congressman: "Well, its good to see Senator Akin back. Akin back, that's a joke, son, a joke!"

There is a 101-year-old man running for Congress as an 'anthropological progressive'. He says, "My hope is that we make people reflect on what you want from your society." Really? We can make a difference?

Joe Newman is running to represent Florida's 16th Congressional District. His aim is to eliminate poverty. Something tells me that a 101 year old person wouldn't be afraid to stand up against the blowhards running the joint now. Lobbyists would represent adult diapers, Polident and Virginia. Political bullies couldn’t threaten his political career. Its the perfect solution.

I think every politician elected to serve our interests should be at least 70 years old. Mere youngsters to Mr. Newman, but I think there would be far less corruption, fraud, waste and abuse. I think our representatives would get far more accomplished and might actually listen, albeit through hearing aids, to the people they represent.

There would have to be an official congressional nap time, but many of our current politicians sleep through sessions now, anyway. At least these people would speak their mind and mean what they say.

There would be fewer bathroom breaks, due to the use of depends, so more work would get done. Actually, the amount of time saying, "What did she say?" might slow things down and offset the bathroom break issue. Then again, everyone could use headphones, adjustable, so they can hear.

There wouldn't be so many standing ovations during The State of the Union Address by phony members of Congress who really hate what the President is saying. In fact, the President would have to tell the truth, because these elderly people would have no problem interrupting the speech.

These people have seen it all. They've been through wars, tough economic times and political scandals to know better than to serve themselves, instead their constituents. They know their life span is short, so they'll feel the need to accomplish much before their "tenure" is up.

I also think that if a congressional delegate passes away, their spouse should automatically take their place and continue the work their partner was involved with.

I also think there would be fewer wars involving other countries, where the US gets involved. I think foreign aid would be nearly gone and they would bolster our domestic defenses, while balancing the budget and eliminating our national debt. No more government shutdowns.

Who knows for sure that it would work, but I think it would be a lot better than what we have today. So, you run, Joe Newman, you run. If I lived in your district, you would have my vote.

See you tomorrow.

Check out my books at Amazon.com or click here.

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

Oh, My Aching Back!

Congressman: "Well, its good to see Senator Akin back. Akin back, that's a joke, son, a joke!"

There is a 101-year-old man running for Congress as an 'anthropological progressive'. He says, "My hope is that we make people reflect on what you want from your society." Really? We can make a difference?

Joe Newman is running to represent Florida's 16th Congressional District. His aim is to eliminate poverty. Something tells me that a 101 year old person wouldn't be afraid to stand up against the blowhards running the joint now. Lobbyists would represent adult diapers, Polident and Virginia. Political bullies couldn’t threaten his political career. Its the perfect solution.

I think every politician elected to serve our interests should be at least 70 years old. Mere youngsters to Mr. Newman, but I think there would be far less corruption, fraud, waste and abuse. I think our representatives would get far more accomplished and might actually listen, albeit through hearing aids, to the people they represent.

There would have to be an official congressional nap time, but many of our current politicians sleep through sessions now, anyway. At least these people would speak their mind and mean what they say.

There would be fewer bathroom breaks, due to the use of depends, so more work would get done. Actually, the amount of time saying, "What did she say?" might slow things down and offset the bathroom break issue. Then again, everyone could use headphones, adjustable, so they can hear.

There wouldn't be so many standing ovations during The State of the Union Address by phony members of Congress who really hate what the President is saying. In fact, the President would have to tell the truth, because these elderly people would have no problem interrupting the speech.

These people have seen it all. They've been through wars, tough economic times and political scandals to know better than to serve themselves, instead their constituents. They know their life span is short, so they'll feel the need to accomplish much before their "tenure" is up.

I also think that if a congressional delegate passes away, their spouse should automatically take their place and continue the work their partner was involved with.

I also think there would be fewer wars involving other countries, where the US gets involved. I think foreign aid would be nearly gone and they would bolster our domestic defenses, while balancing the budget and eliminating our national debt. No more government shutdowns.

Who knows for sure that it would work, but I think it would be a lot better than what we have today. So, you run, Joe Newman, you run. If I lived in your district, you would have my vote.

See you tomorrow.

Check out my books at Amazon.com or click here.

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

Clown Shortage? Really?

My uncle was a circus clown before he died …  All of his friends came to the funeral in one car. Insert rim shot.

According to USA today, there is a growing shortage of professional clowns. The number has dipped from about 3,500 to roughly 2,500. Circus officials are very concerned about clown attrition. Is that even a thing?

There are professional clown schools. You can even take on-line courses at First Internet Clown School, where you can learn clown skills: makeup, balloons, magic and more. No joke. It's for real.

There's even a clown college; RINGLING BROS. AND BARNUM & BAILEY CLOWN COLLEGE, to be exact. This might be one of the problems. In order to be selected, you have to submit a DVD, showing off your clown skills, along with a bio and portfolio. Who's going to jump through so many hoops (sorry) to become a clown?

Can you imagine a kid having a conversation with their parents? "So, Susan, have you decided on a college?" "Yes, I've decided to attend Clown College." it was bad enough telling my father I was going to be a comedian.

The clown shortage is a good thing for people afraid of clowns. A genuine condition, called "coulrophobia". I'm not sure why a person would be afraid of a clown unless the saw the movie, "IT", authored by Stephen King. That clown was scary.

I also remember Red Skelton dressed as a clown on his TV show. Very funny. After retiring from show business, Skelton began painting pictures of clowns which were so good, they sold for thousands of dollars.

We still have Fazio, Eric Stonestreet's character on Modern Family, and Krusty the Clown on The Simpsons. Outside of that, no other clowns come to mind. When I was a kid, Bozo the Crown had his own daytime TV show.

There's also Ronald McDonald around. He is an icon for the fast food chain. In addition to making appearances at grand openings, he also visits very sick children near Ronald McDonald Houses around the country.

What about rodeo clowns? While there is no mention of the reduction of rodeo clowns, one such clown in Texas is becoming famous without intending to do so. Tuffy Gessling wore a mask which resembled President Obama at a rodeo earlier this month. He didn’t think that he was sparking any controversy.

In an interview, Gessling said, “I didn’t do this to do any hating on anyone. I did this to be funny. I did it to be a joke. I didn’t think anything more of it than what we’ve done 15 years ago, ten years ago, five years ago, when we’ve done it with Bush, Clinton and Ronald Reagan.” This time, however, Gessling is getting death threats. Ridiculous.

I couldn't finish the blog without giving mention to other famous big screen clowns, like Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger, who played "The Joker" in the "Batman" series. Finally, there was a film called "Attack of the Killer Clowns", where alien clowns invaded the earth.

Hopefully, as you read this, you will consider attending clown college. Maybe together we can save the clowns.

See you tomorrow.

Check out my books at Amazon.com or click here.

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott