Clown Shortage? Really?

My uncle was a circus clown before he died …  All of his friends came to the funeral in one car. Insert rim shot.

According to USA today, there is a growing shortage of professional clowns. The number has dipped from about 3,500 to roughly 2,500. Circus officials are very concerned about clown attrition. Is that even a thing?

There are professional clown schools. You can even take on-line courses at First Internet Clown School, where you can learn clown skills: makeup, balloons, magic and more. No joke. It's for real.

There's even a clown college; RINGLING BROS. AND BARNUM & BAILEY CLOWN COLLEGE, to be exact. This might be one of the problems. In order to be selected, you have to submit a DVD, showing off your clown skills, along with a bio and portfolio. Who's going to jump through so many hoops (sorry) to become a clown?

Can you imagine a kid having a conversation with their parents? "So, Susan, have you decided on a college?" "Yes, I've decided to attend Clown College." it was bad enough telling my father I was going to be a comedian.

The clown shortage is a good thing for people afraid of clowns. A genuine condition, called "coulrophobia". I'm not sure why a person would be afraid of a clown unless the saw the movie, "IT", authored by Stephen King. That clown was scary.

I also remember Red Skelton dressed as a clown on his TV show. Very funny. After retiring from show business, Skelton began painting pictures of clowns which were so good, they sold for thousands of dollars.

We still have Fazio, Eric Stonestreet's character on Modern Family, and Krusty the Clown on The Simpsons. Outside of that, no other clowns come to mind. When I was a kid, Bozo the Crown had his own daytime TV show.

There's also Ronald McDonald around. He is an icon for the fast food chain. In addition to making appearances at grand openings, he also visits very sick children near Ronald McDonald Houses around the country.

What about rodeo clowns? While there is no mention of the reduction of rodeo clowns, one such clown in Texas is becoming famous without intending to do so. Tuffy Gessling wore a mask which resembled President Obama at a rodeo earlier this month. He didn’t think that he was sparking any controversy.

In an interview, Gessling said, “I didn’t do this to do any hating on anyone. I did this to be funny. I did it to be a joke. I didn’t think anything more of it than what we’ve done 15 years ago, ten years ago, five years ago, when we’ve done it with Bush, Clinton and Ronald Reagan.” This time, however, Gessling is getting death threats. Ridiculous.

I couldn't finish the blog without giving mention to other famous big screen clowns, like Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger, who played "The Joker" in the "Batman" series. Finally, there was a film called "Attack of the Killer Clowns", where alien clowns invaded the earth.

Hopefully, as you read this, you will consider attending clown college. Maybe together we can save the clowns.

See you tomorrow.

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