Oh, My Aching Back!

Congressman: "Well, its good to see Senator Akin back. Akin back, that's a joke, son, a joke!"

There is a 101-year-old man running for Congress as an 'anthropological progressive'. He says, "My hope is that we make people reflect on what you want from your society." Really? We can make a difference?

Joe Newman is running to represent Florida's 16th Congressional District. His aim is to eliminate poverty. Something tells me that a 101 year old person wouldn't be afraid to stand up against the blowhards running the joint now. Lobbyists would represent adult diapers, Polident and Virginia. Political bullies couldn’t threaten his political career. Its the perfect solution.

I think every politician elected to serve our interests should be at least 70 years old. Mere youngsters to Mr. Newman, but I think there would be far less corruption, fraud, waste and abuse. I think our representatives would get far more accomplished and might actually listen, albeit through hearing aids, to the people they represent.

There would have to be an official congressional nap time, but many of our current politicians sleep through sessions now, anyway. At least these people would speak their mind and mean what they say.

There would be fewer bathroom breaks, due to the use of depends, so more work would get done. Actually, the amount of time saying, "What did she say?" might slow things down and offset the bathroom break issue. Then again, everyone could use headphones, adjustable, so they can hear.

There wouldn't be so many standing ovations during The State of the Union Address by phony members of Congress who really hate what the President is saying. In fact, the President would have to tell the truth, because these elderly people would have no problem interrupting the speech.

These people have seen it all. They've been through wars, tough economic times and political scandals to know better than to serve themselves, instead their constituents. They know their life span is short, so they'll feel the need to accomplish much before their "tenure" is up.

I also think that if a congressional delegate passes away, their spouse should automatically take their place and continue the work their partner was involved with.

I also think there would be fewer wars involving other countries, where the US gets involved. I think foreign aid would be nearly gone and they would bolster our domestic defenses, while balancing the budget and eliminating our national debt. No more government shutdowns.

Who knows for sure that it would work, but I think it would be a lot better than what we have today. So, you run, Joe Newman, you run. If I lived in your district, you would have my vote.

See you tomorrow.

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