Celebrity Endorsements!

I think celebrity endorsements would be funny if the product name was very close to matching the celebrity name. I think Ellen Degeneres should be the spokesperson for Olay Regeneration.

I think Jimmy Fallon should endorse Falcon Furniture, etc. It would be a lot more fun that way. So many celebrity endorsements just make no sense. Like, 50 Cent endorsing QVC. No, I'm not kidding. Talk about losing street cred. Bad choice for a hip hop artist.

Other bad celebrity endorsements: Donald Sterling touting the benefits of the NAACP. That would be a disaster. Barry Bonds pitching any kind of cream or ointment.

Snoop Dog and Hot Pockets. This is apparently good enough to convince Snoop to rework one of his biggest hits of recent years. That’s right, kids, “Drop It Like It’s Hot” is now “Pocket Like It’s Hot.” Silly.

Warren G regulates for Affirm XL Erection Pills. Here I was thinking that when it came to male enhancement pills, commercials with white guys playing guitar or throwing around the pigskin had the market cornered. Then comes Warren G spitting lines like “You need to take your Affirm XL and regulate.” The saddest part of the whole thing — this is the only video Warren G’s had on the air in years.

The legendary Ghostface decided to put out their own action figure. The issue is that this toy costs $500. It’s worth pointing out that the doll comes with a mixtape, real 14k gold chain, and chalice lined with Swarovski crystals.

Lil’ Romeo’s Rap Snacks. Rap Snacks are chips named after rappers. With names like “Platinum BBQ” and “Dirt McGirt’s Sour Cream & Onion” they’re the perfect snack addition to any recording session.

Kanye West Rents His Head to Fendi. Kanye reportedly made a cool 10K for buzzing a Fendi ad into the back of his head. Would I use my head as billboard space. Seriously? Does he really need the money?

And finally, 50 Cent’s Condoms. If you’re going to have a song all about your “Magic Stick” it’s only rational that you release a line of condoms, right? I can just see the brainstorming session with 50 Cent and his managers now…

“Gather around everybody. Now, Fifty Cent, this song “Magic Stick” it’s huge, anyway we can capitalize on it, maybe magic cards or candy sticks of some sort? Umm, it’s about condoms? Genius!”

Unfortunately, Fifty wanted to add some performance boosting chemicals to the condoms and they were deemed defective – womp womp. Back to the flavor lab at SK Energy Shots I guess.

Choosing the right right celebrity for the right product is important  as we now see. Let's see... I think I would want to endorse, Cheerios. How can you make that dirty? Impossible.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have several crazy manufacturers waiting to talk to me.

See you tomorrow.

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