Planet of the Apes!

We saw "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" yesterday. Good movie, but I'm kind of tired of the ape thing. How about "Rise of the Planet of the Men", where we refuse to hold our woman's purse while she tries on clothes? Now, there's your flick.

Try stand up comedy! Get the book everyone is talking about!

Come on, now. Enough with the talking animals. "Francis, the Talking Mule", "Mr. Ed", "Dr. Doolittle" a couple of times. How about a film about people we can't understand?

Keifer Sutherland, in 24, would be a great one. Don't get me wrong, Jack Bauer is the baddest dude around, but he always whispers and doesn't move his lips so I can't figure out what he's saying.

So I have to turn the volume way up to hear him, and at that very second there's an explosion and I have to pause it to go and change my skivies. Speak up!

Its the same with David Duchovny on the X-Files. We watch it on Netflix and I have to do the same thing. Suddenly the music blasts, a victim screams or Skinner starts yelling at Mulder and back I go upstairs.

Might as well create a show with only Scottish people in it. I can't understand a word they say. They are wonderful people, and when they have a deep Scottish accent, forget it. I can barely understand Sean Connery and Craig Ferguson.

Might as well throw Sylvester Stallone, Mike Tyson and Former Denver Broncos player, Shannon Sharp in the mix. Oh, and that former beauty pageant contestant, too. And me. When I'm really sick I don't speak loud or clearly enough, which can be very annoying to my wife.

To appease her anger, I hold her purse while she shops. I'm doomed unless we men rise up and risk incurring the wrath of our women!! Who am I kidding? Never gonna happen.

See you tomorrow.

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Jack is Back!

Between Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris, I think I fear Chuck Norris more. Jack Bauer is really Keifer Sutherland, while Chuck Norris is, well, Chuck Norris.

24 is back!! I love this show. I was upset when it went off the air, and I'm so glad its back. It's so different from the other crime shows that we watch. I love everything about the show. The way the clock ticks, the three different plots running at the same time, and the fact that Jack is always trying to save the President and they always think that he's trying to kill the President.

I know this can be slightly monotonous, but it plays out so well, its very well written and I think the acting is superb. Oh I know not everyone is a fan of 24, but I will be ecstatic for the next 12 weeks. I hope the show gets picked up for another 13 weeks.

Well the other crime TV shows portray their characters as skilled human beings, Jack Bauer is as close to a superhero as we'll ever see on TV without animation. The man cannot be stopped. Put him in any situation, regardless of the odds and he will escape killing scores of his enemies along the way. He needs only the help of his trusty sidekick Chloe.

Let's face it, the show the pics his life in real time, and yet we never see him eat or go to the bathroom, not that we would want to see him go to the bathroom, that would be disgusting. But don't tell me the man doesn't have to go once in awhile or grab a hot dog on the run with guns ablazing.

And I think the show is much better with Jack as a rogue agent not working for any federal agency. This way he can have all of the federal agencies along with Interpol, the Russian mob, al Qaeda and dozens of other agencies all wanting to kill him even though he has single handedly saved our country from horrible situations again and again.

I think it would be cool if during the final episode, when they know for sure they'll never bring the show back and there won't be another movie, if Jack Bauer had to beat up or kill Chuck Norris. Then we would really discover who is the tough guy. I think that would be a lot of fun and it would probably be one of the most watched television episodes in history.

Who would win? I don't know. They are both indestructible. I would love to get your thoughts on who you think would win. Just leave a comment in the comment box letting me know who you think would win and then I will post the results on tomorrow's blog.

See you tomorrow.

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