I'm especially afraid of Jive Turkeys because I don't know that I've ever seen one.
Turkeys are scary birds. From a distance, wild turkeys, especially the males, when they spread their tail feathers (even that sounds scary) and strut to impress the females. Then you get up close and see all of those things sagging around the beak and neck. What the heck are those things? Do they perform an important function?
If not, they should visit a veterinary plastic surgeon to have them removed. Its just plain rude to run around looking like that. Its no wonder why we want to kill and eat them. They have it coming.
Each time I prepare a turkey for dinner, I always check the bird carefully to be sure those saggy things are all gone. Well, it could happen. I even check the giblet package carefully. Those things could be poisonous for all I know.
The only explanation I could find is obviously a joke. They are called called wattles. Hmmm... Now I want waffles. I digress. It is not clear why turkeys have them but ilikely that they are used to attract the opposite sex and/or to scare away other male turkeys. Seriously? Female turkeys find these hideous appendages attractive?
When the male turkey gets excited, the red wattle enlarges in size perhaps making it look more attractive to the opposite sex and scary to the same sex. The increase in blood flow helps attract mates while scaring off other males.
The wattle also helps to cool the turkey. The bright red area has blood flow close to the surface and as it is not covered by feathers it gets cooler faster. Turkeys do not sweat. Except near Thanksgiving. Then they sweat more than a hunting partner of Dick Chaney.
All I'm saying is its not natural to have those things. When turkeys were created, God must have either been in a practical joke mood or He didn't like turkeys either. I'm just glad He didn't give them to people. Yuk.
See you tomorrow.
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