Selling Shoes

My first real job was selling shoes. One day, a customer was trying on a pair of shoes. I asked him how they felt. He said they felt a little tight. I said, "Try pulling the tongue out." He said, "Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tight."

My first real job was selling shoes. I sold a lot of shoes, but mostly played a lot of practical jokes. Everyone in our district knew me as a good salesman, but also as a prankster.

One Saturday, I was asked to fill in for a manager at a different store. When I got there, the employees were very happy it was me, because they knew it was going to be a fun day.

Every shoe store had a stock boy. It was a tough job because the shipment of shoes had to be put away by style and size, so many times he would have to shift all of the stock in the store. 

This store's stock boy, Bruno, put his wallet on a shelf while he worked. I looked in his wallet and saw a single five dollar bill.

I took the bill from his wallet and at lunch time I gave him the five dollars, told him he was doing such a great job, I would buy him lunch. He was very excited and off he went to lunch. I'm not sure if he ever figured it out.

Later in the day, a big guy came into the store. He had a bald, very shiny head. I told the employees that I would wait on him. The guy was looking for a pair of tennis shoes. I got his size and brought out quite a few pairs to try on. He didn't want my help lacing them up, which was perfect, because it gave me the opportunity to play the prank I wanted.

As the man was looking down, I would pretend his shiny head was a mirror and act like I was fixing my hair, checking my teeth and popping a zit. The employees were laughing quietly as I continued to make fun of the guy.

He finally settled on a pair that he liked and I took him to the register to ring him up. As he was leaving the store, the crew was still laughing, but also high fiving me, as well. The guy walked out of the store and straight to his wife, who was sitting on a bench and saw the whole thing!

I knew I was a dead man. As they walked away, the wife looked at me, smiled and gave me a thumbs up! I would live to prank another day. And I did. Whenever the opportunity presented itself.

See you tomorrow.