Watch This!

Some people try to trick themselves to get somewhere on time by setting the clocks ten minutes ahead. Really? If they're really not aware that they have tricked themselves, they need to be locked up.

I didn't sleep well last night. I'm not sure why, but I kept waking up. I needed to get up at 6:30, and at one point, I woke up thinking it was just about time and my alarm was going to go off any minute. That's the worst, isn't it? Even if its only two minutes. It doesn't matter. You were robbed.

When I looked at my clock, it was only 4:30! Awesome! I could sleep for two more hours! Those were the best two hours ever.

The worst is when you are already late when you wake up. Many years ago, I was an international business consultant, based out of Los Angeles. I had returned from the UK late one night and had to shoot a video for a client in San Diego the next day. I had to be at the office by 6 am.

I got there just fine, we spent the entire day there and didn't get back until 2 am. Talk about exhausted! The worst part was I had to catch a flight to Chicago, with the owner of the firm, at 8 am. He told me, "Don't miss that flight" as he was leaving for the night.

When I got to my apartment, I had three choices. I could pack right then and go to sleep, I could stay up all night in order to be on time or I could sleep now and pack when my alarm went off. You guessed it, I chose to sleep first. Very bad choice. I didn't even hear my alarm.
It was 7:30 when I awoke completely panic stricken. I lived a good 20 minutes from the airport, without traffic! I threw whatever I could in my suitcase and headed out the door like Chris Christie going to a buffet.

I drove 90 mph and parked in the short term parking lot, even though I was going to be gone for a week. I had to make that flight! I ran into the airport and got to the gate right at eight! I made it! I looked like Reverend Jim, from the old sitcom, Taxi. No shower, clothes completely wrinkled and half way tucked in and sweating like an inmate on a chain gang.

But, no matter. I made it. I gave the desk clerk my drivers license and asked for my boarding pass. She told me it was too late. I started yelling at her, telling her that she was GOING to let me on the flight. "Sorry", she said. "You weren't here, so we gave your seat to a stand by passenger." I uttered a few incoherent words and had to deal with the situation.

I cleaned up in the restroom, bought a tee shirt and decided to catch the next flight. When I got to the hotel in Chicago, I was an hour late. I checked in, got to my room and then headed for the owner's suite. As I walked in the room, he just stared at me and smiled. I didn't need to be there for probably five more hours. I stood there looking at him, thinking of all of the ways I could torture him.

Not only was I late, but I also had to buy enough nice clothing for a week, including a suit. When we returned to Los Angeles, I had to give him a ride home, which I thought was strange because he was married and could have arranged a ride. Little did I know that he had one more "lesson" to teach me.

I know it wasn't honest, but considering what I had been through, I was going to tell the parking attendant that I had lost my ticket. In those days, they would only charge you for 24 hours when you lost your ticket. As the words left my lips, the owner said, "Here it is! I found it!" It cost me $100.

As he got out of my car, he said "I'll bet you'll never miss a flight again. He was right. After that experience, I always arrived early, even if I had to stay up all night.

See you tomorrow.

Check out the new Kindle version of my books," The Twisted Musings of a Comedian, Volumes I and 2 here!

Connect with me on Facebook and Twitter!

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott