Who's On First?

I might be paranoid, but I'm pretty sure my smart car and my smartphone are conspiring against me.

I think technology is advancing just a little too rapidly. Everything is connected now. You can control everything in your life, except for your wife, from your smartphone.

Home security, television, dvr, thermostat, practically everything in your home. I don't know if you've ever watched "2001, A Space Odyssey", but the computer takes over the ship. How? It was a computer, and it was smart!

I'm not going to turn everything over to my phone. I can lock and unlock my house and vehicle with a key, thank you very much. I can open my garage with the device that came with the unit.

Some people love the fact that so much can be completed remotely, on their smartphone. Personally, I don't trust my phone. It likes to remind me now and again that it is in charge, by rebooting at the worst possible time, instantly dumping contacts and wiggling out of my hand and landing squarely on the one spot that will shatter the entire screen. It's willing to sacrifice it's life just to make my life miserable. 

Oh, we might think we're in charge, but make no mistake, the mysterious cloud calls the shots. You'll get off work and you won't be able to get into your car, and since you've remote started it, the car just sits there, burning gasoline that is nearly at a price of a Starbucks coffee per gallon.

So, you call a locksmith, pay an exorbitant amount of money to get into your car. The computer in the car then plays the music it wants to play on your phone. You finally get home but can't open the garage, or open the door to your house, which has been heated to 100°, causing the refrigerator to break down, trying to keep your food warm.

You then call the same locksmith to your home this time, setting off the security system, so you have to prove your identity to the police. Finally, you get in and get everything under control, and sit back in your recliner, turn on the TV, only to find that your entire dvr has been filled with episodes of "Mythbusters".

I'm warning you, be kind to your phone, and it just might become your friend.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to trade in my smartphone for an old fashioned phone that receives and makes calls at my discretion. (phone: I won't allow him to do that)

See you tomorrow.

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