Freaky Cats!

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against cats in general. My daughter, Cecilee and my niece, Heather, adore their cats. If I'm honest, I'm afraid of cats. They freak me out. You never know what they're thinking and they will attack you at any time. They're like pit bulls that have no training.

Most dogs are predictable once they grow out of the puppy stage. In my experience with cats, that's not the case. They are evil. I always think they're trying to steal my soul. That's why I never stare into their eyes. Creepy.

My brother, Fred, had a cat suitably named "Whacky". This cat was very pretty and innocent looking. He would lay on the back of the furniture and when you least suspected it, he would leap and attack your head. It was all very interesting and funny, so long as it was happening to someone else.

If it was happening to me, I feared for my life. Whacky would use all four legs to claw your head for what seemed like an hour, but in reality it was only seconds. The recovery time combined with the fear of the next sudden attack made me paranoid.

The best example and strongest reason why I think cats are creepy is based on a horrible series of incidents with one cat. I lived in Pomona, California with my second wife, her daughter and my kids. The wife wanted to get a cat and I was opposed, but I caved. It was a female, which is pertinent to the story.

There was also a huge male stray cat in the neighborhood. We all called him big kitty. He was a tough street cat. One morning, we were packing the car for a trip and left the front door open so we didn't have to keep opening it with hands full. This would prove to be a horrible decision.

I suddenly heard the freaky, "I'm going to kill you" meows coming from a neighbor's male cat and big kitty. They were ready to fight to the death over our female cat... In our living room! I told my wife to hold the neighbor's cat down by the neck and I would do the same with big kitty. We did. Now what?

I turned to tell my wife to let her hostage go. In a split second, big kitty sank his teeth deep into the flesh of my left hand. He only needed me to be distracted for a second to make his move. I saw a doctor who cleaned the wound and gave me an injection. He said I'd be fine. Wrong! The next morning, my hand was swollen like a rubber glove blown up like a balloon.

Fortunately, we had interaction, randomly with another doctor. He told me to get to an ER immediately. I did. The treatment was very painful but successful.

After we got home, we decided to take the giant killer cat to the vet to get him checked out. He also bit the vet. When we went to pick up the monster, the vet wanted to call animal control and have the cat put down right then. But, we decided to bring him back to the neighborhood anyway.

The vet did call animal control, who snatched up the outlaw cat and they assured us it would be painless for the cat. Finally, and sadly, it was over. The animal control truck pulled away.

Six months later, we were in the house when we heard an all too familiar meow outside the front door. We froze. It can't be him. Or could it? I had watched "Pet Semetery" so this situation really freaked me out.

I opened the door and, sure enough, it was big kitty! He was very skinny, his paw pads were worn down and bloody from his long journey home, and he now had only one eye, the other no doubt lost in a street fight.

We fed him practically all of the cat food we had in the house and also what seemed like gallons of water. He quickly recovered and my wife was going to call animal control again. I said no. This cat had eerily managed to escape death's clutches so he deserved to live.

We saw him on occasion after that, but he didn't hang out at our house much. He was too busy running the cat gang in the neighborhood.

See you tomorrow.

Check out my books at Amazon.com or click here!

Connect with me on Facebook and Twitter!

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott