Halloween

This Halloween, I'm going to dress up as Maury Povich, visit a hospital nursery, and tell a guy he is not the father.

Halloween is the favorite holiday for so many people, which confuses me because I've never really cared for it, even as a kid.

I was able to go for a few years in Montana, where I was born, and I enjoyed it then. But we moved from there to Southern California, where trick or treating was dangerous. Every year, there were sick people who would hand out drug laced candy, or apples with razor blades in them.

In addition, kids would be kidnapped because it was the perfect night to take a child, since everyone was in costume and there were kids everywhere, in the dark. After awhile, the stores in the malls started giving out candy, so when my kids were at the trick or treat age, I took them to the mall and to friends' houses. They still got a lot of candy, but the experience was gone.

I don't like the frightmare attractions either. I've been married four times, so if I want to be scared, I'll just drive by a church. Go pay to have people dressed in costume scare the be jeepers out of me? I don't think so.

I do like some of the candy, but not all of it. Most people love Skittles. I can't stand them. Most enjoy Reeses Pieces, but I don't. If I'm going to enjoy something from Reeses, it will be the full size peanut butter cup. Those I love.

To each his own. Christmas is my favorite holiday, followed by Thanksgiving. They both contain the three f's that are needed for me to have a great holiday. Food, family and football.

But, if its goblins you seek, then Halloween is your holiday. The costumes, pumpkins, candy, haunted houses, parties and decorative surroundings; I can understand the appeal. I just don't share it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a pumpkin to carve. Ugh.

See you tomorrow.

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