Stay put!

I have moved so many times, I tell people I'm in the witness protection program.

According to Ask.com, the average family moves every 5 to 7 years. At least I'm above average in something. In fact, I've shattered that average.

Just in this 15 year marriage, we've moved 10 times. It's like we're in hiding. We've more times than Salmon Rushtie. Let's see, we married while living in Pocatello, Idaho (I know!), then to Bountiful, Utah, back to Pocatello (I know!), then to West Hills, California, then to Clearfield, Utah, then to Mountain Green, Utah, then to Syracuse, Utah (3 different locations, then to Farr West, Utah, then to West Haven, Utah and finally here in Pleasant View, Utah.

At least we've remained in the same state for 13 years. That's a lot of moving! My wife blames me and I blame her. It really doesn't matter. I get tired just thinking about it. We keep a moving company on retainer. Each time, I say we're never going to move again. Ever. Then, something goes awry and off we go.

We've only been forced to move once, and that was because the home owner was a whacko. It was a beautiful new home on a golf course. The owner was supposed to landscape, but never did. The weeds were so high, I had to attack them with a sickle. Then the owner went berserk because our dog barked at him, from inside the house. He demanded we get out. He told the management company that we weren't supposed to have a dog, although it was in the lease and we paid a pet deposit.

Our rep at the management company called and said she had some good news, some bad news and some good news. The first bit of good news was we would never have to deal with that lunatic again, because they had dropped him as a client. The bad news was that we had a week to move. The other good news was that she had a another brand new house about 30 minutes north in Farr West.

We lived in this huge house, just my wife, me and our dog. I began having health problems, so we decided to downsize to a town home in West Haven. The unit was new, but we discovered there was a half way house two blocks away and there were people always doing drugs in field behind us, which also included a homeless camp at no extra charge.

So, here we are in Pleasant View.

See you tomorrow, where I'll talk about how many times I moved before this marriage.

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