The Pope

The Pope says he's stepping down due to age. He secretly told me he hated the hat.

No Pope has resigned in the last 600 years. It's like when Richard Nixon resigned. Perhaps there was a Vatigate incident.

Who knows? I'm not his judge. I can't help but wonder, however. Couldn't you just sleep a lot as the Pope? It worked for Ronald Reagan, and he did a great job.

What now? All of the Cardinals will gather in secret, and will arm wrestle for the top spot. Since it will only be Cardinals considered, my money is on Carlos Beltran.

I think the scandals might have had a huge impact. More than two billion dollars in payouts to those who have been sexually abused. Is anyone tracking the whereabouts of Monica Lewinsky? Just a thought.

The new Papal might want to consider allowing priests to marrying, and eliminate those who may be attracted to children. There would be law suits and criticism as a result of not hiring certain folks, but far cheaper than continuing the molestation payouts. 

Beltran could physically intimidate any priest who even comes close to messing around with a kid.

The worst news for me, is my bobble head Pope collection will now be worthless. I guess I need to start collecting Carlos Beltran action figures instead.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go through my baseball cards.

See you tomorrow.