French Breakfast

They stopped the Euro-Disney fireworks show. It became embarrassing. Every time they went off, the French army would attempt to surrender.

I've spent a good deal of time in France. Beautiful landscapes, cozy cafés hairy women... Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad, right? Right. They should hand out razors there like Planned Parenthood hands out protection.

France does make great cheese. Fantastic! Fabuleux! In fact, I became addicted to cheese, baguettes and cafe long, large coffee.

What I didn't realize, was that the baguettes, as a credit to all outwardly hardened bread anywhere, would also tear up your mouth like you took a weed whacker to it.

My mouth would heal just fine, in fact, just in time for a return visit for another ten days. Baguettes, cheese and coffee. Exquisite.

As for rudeness, I only encountered one, and I finally understood where he was coming from. The flights for miles are insane. The airline said that I would earn an extra 5,000 miles if I flew to Paris from the U.K. For flying to Paris for one night. Crazy!

I always stayed at a Novotel in France each time. All I had was an address for the hotel, so I patients waited for a cab. The driver put my bags in the trunk, and we were on our way.

I gave the cabbie the address, and he said stupid American! You can walk to the hotel from here, and I have to wait 45 minutes for another show! He threw my bags on pavement and sped away. He said. "stupide américain! Vous pouvez marcher jusqu'à l'hôtel d'ici, et je dois attendre encore 45 minutes pour une autre foire! Il a jeté mes sacs sur trottoir et a filé au loin."

I didn't know what he said, but then I saw the neon lights and realized the hotel was within walking distance. Ha!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to eat my baguettes, cheese and coffee.

See you tomorrow.