Friday, December 14, 2012

The elderly

I'm told if I eat healthy, I can extend my life by 10 years. That would be great if I could choose the decade I could extend. Who wants to extend the time period when you wear diapers and eat only soft food?

I'll tell you what I'm going to do if I happen to hit 80. Donuts, cookies, cake and the occasional healthy meal.

I love a great steak, burger, onion rings, pasta, meatballs, lasagna, pizza, etc. During the week, I take it easy. On the weekends, however, I eat whatever I want. I don't gain, I actually lose a pound a week or so on most weeks. As long as I have teeth, I'm going to continue. Why not? 

I have no desire to make it to 90. I see 90 year old folks and bless their hearts, but it's hard for them to hear, on top of everything else. I can't even drive at 57, I can't imagine being 90 and not being able to get around. Besides, at the rate I'm losing body parts, I don't think I stand a chance. I swear, last week, they took out my liver. I don't even know how I'm writing this. You do need a liver to live, right? 

My mother is an exception. She's 80, will be 81 in January, and is still full of life. I Skype with her and although she has hearing aids, she's funny and enjoys her life. She does what she wants, when she wants.

I want to go out in style. I don't care what style, as long as it's prior to 90.

Here's to donuts, cookies and cakes.

See you tomorrow. 

My new book, "The Twisted Musings of a Comedian II" is now ready for purchase at Amazon.com. Great Christmas gifts! Just search my name on Amazon.com 


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