I cannot tell a lie

If George Washington never told a lie, how did he get to be president?


I've yet to see a politician who didn't "tell the truth attractively" to get elected. In debates, they tiptoe around the tough questions, never answering them. Rarely is there follow through to see these wonderful plans come to fruition.

In this case, I'm obviously speaking of high school student body pundits. They know they have to work with the student council in order to push these ideas through, but that is never mentioned.

All the way up the political ladder, it's the same. "I'll do this, this is my plan, I've been around long enough to work with the governing body to ensure success."  The lies are endless. Whatever it takes to get elected.

One exception I know of, is my brother, Jim. He has been an educator his entire life, and still works very hard to improve education every day in his state. He's had to settle very tough union negotiations, school board issues, state laws, as they pertain to the education system in his state, and more. I would vote for Jim as president of our nation in a heartbeat. He's accomplished so much, without being dishonest.

How I wish all political figures were that way. Now, the big guy from Jersey, him I like. He seems to be a straight shooter. He calls it as he sees it. He takes shots and deals with them very well. He's done a good job as Governor.

Another good one is John Huntsman Jr. A bit too honest for Americans yet. He was a great Governor in Utah, even taking on the predominant religion there, of which he is a member, when it came to legislation.

I wish each candidate were polygraphed during their debates or campaign speeches. Our student bodies would be able to get so much more done.

I'm Jerry Mabbott, and I'd appreciate your vote.

The Incredible Hulk

I hate it when people steal quotes It  makes me angry, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

Shop Amazon Easter Shop - Candy, Clothes, Décor

I watched "The Avengers" in 3D a few days ago. It was awesome, especially the hulk. That was downright scary in 3D. Bill Bixby is unavailable because the world turned too many times, and Lou Ferigno couldn't become big enough. So, I watched a giant computer animated crazed green giant (a commercial opportunity clearly missed) destroy everything in sight, good or bad.

Meanwhile, Ferigno is now remembered as the mild mannered, neighborhood gossip on "The King of Queens". Talk about fading into obscurity. He was good on the show, being himself. Easy gig.

Robert Downey Jr. was great again, as "Iron Man", proving his ability as a great actor, who is very diverse and can play most any role. It wasn't that long ago when he was doing a terrific job in the role of Lindsay Lohhan. He was in and out of jail more often than a prostitute. Finally, he was sentenced to hard time, and that did the trick.

A wise man said that in order to change behavior, the consequences must be gruesome. 90 days in rehab, in my opinion, will do nothing to change her behavior. Rehab is Hollywood's slap on the wrist.

Outside of murder, which seems to always result in acquittal, everyone gets rehab. It's sort of a phony rebuilding step for the star. Athletes do the same thing, until they finally admit their guilt. Plaxico Burress and Michael Vick were exceptions and it seemed to do the trick.

I just don't think Lohan will change until she does hard time. Doesn't Martha Stewart seem to be a little craftier following her incarceration (which should have never happened, by the way)?

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a guy who looks pretty big, sitting nearby and I'm going to poke him with a stick and see what happens.

Hopefully, I'll see you tomorrow. 

I Learn A Lot From The Mistakes That Others Make From My Advice

I learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice. Seriously, no one should ever take my advice unless it is comedy or leadership related. I've been married four times and went bankrupt. If you want my advice on anything else, forget it. 

I'm very fortunate to have the wife I have. She is very tolerant of my behaviors. I'm kind of quirky, I guess you could say. If not reminded, I forget to eat, and I mean all day. That's kind of weird  especially after being a fat kid in school. Very strange. I try to eat only when I'm hungry, which is rare. I don't know if it has to do with the medication I take, or what, but I just don't feel the need to eat. So don't ask me for nutritional advice.

I rebuilt a carborator once. I didn't have enough money for someone else to do it, so I did it myself. I had some parts left over, but the engine purred like a kitten and I couldn't have been more proud of myself. $12 for a kit and off I go. I stopped at at a local gas station and asked the mechanic how much he charged to rebuild carborators like mine. He said $75. I kind of said heh, heh heh to myself. when I started to drive away, the carborator exploded. Fire everywhere. The mechanic quickly doused the fire with a fire extinguisher, then called the other mechanics over to have a look. He asked me who did the work, because it was terrible. I told him my cousin did it. It ended up costing me the $75, plus more for the damage the fire caused. Don't ask me how to fix cars.

When I was younger, I worked at an automatic transmission shop. I was training to run the shop. as I was not mechanically inclined, as noted in the earlier paragraph. The owner of the shop was using a welding torch, which was sometimes needed on older cars to move a rusted cross bar to get to the transmission  Somehow, he caught his pants on fire. He told me to get some wet rags to put out the fire. In a panic, I got the only wet towels I could find, and threw them on the pant leg in flames. What I didn't know was these wet rags were wet with kerosene. One of the mechanics got the fire extinguisher and put out the fire quickly, so the owner wasn't burned very badly. Why he didn't fire me, is still a mystery to me to this day.

Another time, at the same shop, the owner used to go to a meeting with other businessmen on Fridays. We rented uniforms from a company, one for each day of the week and there were no spares. the owner asked me to get a bucket of solvent to clean out a part called a torque converter. he was just about to leave fro his meeting, a highlight of his week. when I reached him with the five gallon bucket, I dropped it on the floor, right on the bottom. As if in slow motion, the solvent went straight up in the air and came right down on the owner from head to toe. why he didn't fire me again was baffling to this day. He couldn't go to his meeting. He had to go home and change intro some grubbies so he could return to the shop. Don't ask me about solvents or putting putting out small fires.

Yet another time, I went to a gas station that used to send all of it's transmission work to our shop, but had suddenly stopped, without explanation. I went to visit him to find out what happened. He said that we replaced his transmission, at some point, and had really messed it up. I asked me to make it right. He pulled out a gun and aimed it at my face and told me I had 30 seconds to get off of his property. Not phased by the gun, the guy wasn't going to shoot me and spend the rest of his days in prison because of a transmission mishap. He said that I was either the most stupid person on the planet or I had a lot of guts, but in any case, he let me take his truck, complete with an overhead camper. When I pulled into the shop driveway, very proud of myself, I failed to make room for the shop doors, and ripped the side of the camper all the way down the left side. The owner told me to wait until after the station had close, then bring the truck back as it was and get my car and get out of there. The next morning, the guy showed up with the truck. the owner told me to hide in the bathroom until the guy was gone. I had no problem with that. I have no idea what our owner told the guy, but he left and I got the lecture of a lifetime and deservedly so. Don't ask me how to drive a pickup with a camper on it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to pull my U-Haul into the driver.

See you tomorrow.

Blind as a bat

Yesterday, someone broke into our house. Among other things, they took all of my eye glasses. Yep, robbed me blind.

When you don't have the correct pair of eye wear, contacts, glasses etc.; it feels like you're just lost. Kind of like losing your cell phone. I panic if I don’t have my phone.

As a writer, glasses are the same way. In fact, much of what I write is created on my smartphone, which is, in many ways better than my laptop.

Without glasses, you're much more likely to brush your teeth with cortisone cream, which is a horrible thing to do. It's like swallowing gasoline. You can't get rid of the taste. How can I make the comparison? I've done both.

As a kid, I used to have a mini bike. Once, I ran out of gas. My father always kept five gallons of gasoline on hand, in case of an attack of some kind. He could pretend to be a Bruce Willis type and shoot the can, just as the marauders were close. Who knows?

I needed some of that gas, but I was unable to lift the full five gallon can. So, I decided to syphen the gas that I needed. I got a piece of hose and prepared. I had no idea what I was doing. No clue. I remember someone telling me that you must prime the flow with your mouth.

So, I gave it all I had in one huge effort. Nothing! Not one single drop. Okay, I thought, I'll try it again. I wasn't aware that the gasoline was just a few inches from the end of the hose. I gave it the same inhaling effort as the first time.

All I can remember is gasping for air, emptying the gas from my stomach and choking so bad it really felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. When it was all over, I could not get rid of the taste for days. Just when I thought I succeeded, I would belch, and there it was. This went on for days.

I sold the mini bike,  and have made no attempt to syphen anything since.

Back to the cortisone cream. Always keep a spare set of glasses well hidden and keep the cortisone cream out of the bathroom.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get the Preparation H out of there as well.

See you tomorrow.