White Elephant Economy

I sold a car on Ebay this morning. We needed the cash. I wonder what my neighbor's going to do when he finds out it was his?

Wouldn't it be cool if you could sell whatever you want if you need the cash? I think it would be great for the economy. If I sold my neighbor's car, he could buy someone else's car. Then, when he needed cash, he could sell something that belongs to someone else. It could be America's practical joke economy stimulus package.

I think I would probably sell the White House. That would leave me pretty well set for life. The people who buy it could live there, they just wouldn't be able to bother the First Family while they're working. Off work, however, White House staffers would have to entertain the buyers, cook their meals, etc. All great selling points.

Maybe I could sell Disney World. That would fetch a pretty penny, wouldn't it? How cool would that be? It wouldn't last long, because someone else would likely sell it again and I would be ousted. I know what you're thinking. How could you finance a purchase like that? Easy. I would buy the bank.

I could sell my local Wal-Mart and kick out the gross people who dress like they are colorblind and put on clothes for the very first time. I would establish a strict dress code, maybe black tie only. I could get rid of all of the chappy merchandise and replace it with high end stuff. No more roll backs. The old Wal-Mart customers would be forced to go to a local discount grocer, again stimulating the local economy.

Eventually, all of the big box retailers would be bought and shut down, giving way to Mom and Pop stores, like the old days. I know it sounds crazy, but it would be the equivalent of the white elephant game that is played at nearly every Christmas party. I like it.

Maybe I would sell Amazon.com. I would make a killing on it, then someone would sell it out from under me. With the white elephant economic plan, the money would end up being spread around the country evenly, since no one would need to qualify! It's brilliant!

I could even sell congress out from under the lobbyists. Then, at least the people of our country could actually get congressional leaders to do the will of the people! I love this plan so much, I am officially announcing my candidacy for President of these United States.

Who knows? When I take office, I might just sell China.

See you tomorrow.