Family!!

Last year, my wife woke up on her birthday and excitedly told me that she had a dream that I gave her a diamond necklace! She asked what the dream meant, so I gave her a book on how to interpret dreams. Bad move.

There are four different family groups:

A nuclear family is made up of parents and their children. Strange, I always thought that it was a bizarre family that spent too much time being exposed to radiation for way too long and hung out at Walmart a lot. Every neighborhood has at least one of those families. They are either the poor family that let their children run around naked in the yard, or maybe the family that pretends to be rich by living beyond their means, trying to convince the neighborhood that they are the best.

Remember, every neighborhood has at least one of those families, so if you can't think of one...

An extended family includes parents, children, grandparents, and/or aunts, uncles, and cousins in the same household. Many times, they all live together. Immigrants have been known to all live together, in order to save enough money to buy a business. They don't care what others think or say. When the business grows to the point where they can afford to move it on up to the deluxe apartment in the sky, they might get separate housing, or continue to live together. Most of us couldn't do that, which is why we live in separate dwellings. Those of us who were born in this country and try to live altogether end up on tv shows, like "Intervention" or "Cops".

A blended family is formed when one single parent (divorced or widowed) marries another single parent. I also call this The Brady Bunch family. This one is by far the least successful type of family. Usually, each parent loves their children and tolerate the other spouse's kids. Meanwhile, the Dad is gay, causing the Mom to turn to the eldest son of the father, who is having a fling with the eldest daughter of the Mother. If we learned nothing more from The Brady Bunch, it is that it is very rare to make a blended family work.

A mob family is a collaboration of a number of blood relatives, along with some trusted members outside of the bloodline. This is the ultimate family. Everyone's role is clearly defined. There are no gray areas. Each of the men should have their own home, in their own dwelling. The wife and mother stays out of the family business, tending to her family, charities, etc. The man of the house has a mistress and his job. Occasionally, the entire family will get together for some spaghetti and meatballs and have a great time. They never mix business and pleasure. That's bad for business.

I think we all have to choose the type of family that works best for us. I'll take number four. I love spaghetti and meatballs.

See you tomorrow.

My dogs have no manners. They eat like animals!

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