Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Bladder Control

I’m laughing so hard, tears are running down my leg. ummm…hold on a sec…be right back….

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Bladder control is something we take for granted. After all, it's never been a problem before. As we grow older, however, it seems like everything changes. We have less control over some of our body parts than we used to.

Prior to retiring, the only job I could find was going door to door, selling a grocery delivery service. It really was fun, but sometimes you'd spend an hour or more in a customer's home. By the time I got out of the house, my  bladder was about to explode! I had to find a bathroom, and fast!

I fired up my gps, to find the closest convenience store, but by the time I found it, it was too late. It happened twice until I decided to ask the customer if I could use their restroom. I know! Why didn't think of it before?

The reason was that I was catching them without warning in the first place, and asking to use their bathroom made them uncomfortable. Then I decided it was better for them to feel uncomfortable than the alternative.

As a comedian, I could drive 50 miles needing to go. Not the same anymore. In those days, convenience stores were the comic's best friend. We could use the restroom and pick up some cheap food at the same time. Most times, the bathrooms were gross, but at that point, I didn't care.

One day, I saw a beautiful hotel off the freeway and it dawned on me that I could use their bathrooms. They're normally in the lobby, and no one would say anything to you. It was a much better experience after that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to practice keagles to strengthen my bladder.

See you tomorrow.

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