Weird Hair

I offered my wife a sincere compliment on her mustache and suddenly she's mad.

There is certainly a double standard, but that we've known for years. Wives tell their husbands "time for a hair cut. You look ridiculous." That's accepted. Let a man do that, and he'll hide out longer than Ted Kaczynski.

We get hair growing out of our ears, nose and other places. There should be ear, nose and throat barbers. Believe it or not, ladies, nose hair trimmers hurt! That's why I trim mine with my trusty swiss army knife. Let's see you do that on your legs. Just kidding. Don't do it. You're likely to end up in the hospital.

What about the ears? Fortunately, I don't have that dilemma, but I know guys that do. Can you get them trimmed at the doctors office? Will insurance cover excessive hair growth? Doubtful. We just have to do our best with what ever is available. Nair? No thanks. Box cutter? Possible.

Women, as they grow older too, have problems with mustaches. You wax them. If only it were easy to do that with our ears. Can you imagine? Fill the ear cavity with wax, let it set, yank it off and voila! No more annoying hair or pesky ear drums. All gone.

They say our nose and ears continue to grow as we get older. Great. I'm going to have hair everywhere! I'll have to put it all together in a giant comb over. I'll no doubt be shot by some moron who mistakes me for Bigfoot.

Now, if you'll excuse me, this nose hair isn't going to cut itself.

See you tomorrow.