Gum Control

I think the argument about guns is ridiculous. We ought to be focused on a larger problem; Gum control. The scene from "Elf" should serve as a warning to us all.

Gum is dangerous. Very dangerous. Cleverly disguised as a tasty, chewy treat, it is placed like C4 explosives all over the world.

There are many flavors, colors, shapes and sizes. From flavorful breath fresheners, bubble gum, sugar free to other mouth bombs loaded with sugar. They even make gum with aspirin in it and gum with disgusting nicotine.

There are flavors that should never touch the delicate taste buds of any human being. We've all experienced it. A different flavor you've never seen before. You think, "That looks like a good idea. I'll try it." You spend the rest of the day trying to get the taste out of your mouth. Nothing works. Nothing. The gum terrorists,led by Bazooka Joe, have won.

Then there's the real problem. Kids will eat anything, including gum they find - anywhere. It makes no difference where they find it, or what condition it might be in, they find it, and chew it. Gross.

Chewing gum over long periods of time can also cause temporary mandibular joint issues, as we call it in the biz, or in layman's terms, TMJ. It is a serious problem that sometimes requires surgery to repair.

All I'm trying to do, is warn mankind about this dreaded disease. Gum disease. We simply must control it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a delightful piece of Juicy Fruit, with my name all over it.

See you tomorrow.