Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful that I'm not a turkey today.

Some might argue that point, but at least physically, I'm not a turkey. Turkeys are not very bright. Kind of like sheep. I think if I were a turkey, the closer it got to Thanksgiving, I would look for a weakness in security and escape. I don't know how old they are when they are "prepared" for market, but if it's more than a year, in some cases, I think I would make a break for it.

I'm also thankful that I don't play professional football. Those guys are nuts. The punishment they take playing the game is outrageous. I know that most of them love the game and some play just for the money, but with all of the concussions, broken bones, demolished knees and shoulders, I'd rather have my health.

I performed once for a charity, the benefactor being the handicapped boy scouts. The event was sponsored by the Los Angeles Raiders, yes, they've been in Los Angeles twice. There were many current and retired professional football players there. Some were hall of famers, like Deacon Jones, the former Ram great. Jim Otto, the hall of fame center from the Raiders was also there. He could barely move, like many of the others, due to arthritis which was seemingly everywhere in his body.

The most fun that night was hanging out with all of those great football players while they made fun of the celebrity guest, The Six Million Dollar Man himself, Lee Majors. Majors was acting like he was royalty, and these players weren't buying into it.

So, I'm also thankful that I'm not Lee Majors. And I'm also thankful that I don't live on Mars. Based on the images sent back from our space equipment, there's nothing there. How could I cook a turkey? I couldn't even make tofu.

See you tomorrow.

My new book, "The Twisted Musings of a Comedian II", will be available on Amazon.com just in time for Christmas!

My books: Amazon.com
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott
Blog: jmabbott.blogspot.com