Saturday, June 1, 2013

Dangerous Dating

When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I think its strange how many people take knives on a date.

If your date takes out a knife large enough to make permanent markings on a tree, it's not really romantic. Run! Don't stop. Run like the wind!

Ok, perhaps I've watched too many episodes of "Criminal Minds", but better safe than sorry. I doubt if the FBI will show at the last minute, but get to a safe place on your own.

Be clever. Hide in plain sight. Don't let him chase him. Wait until he's close, then shoot the murderous marauder. Make sure you finish the job with a shot to the head, so just like in the movies, the guy won't suddenly grab your ankle unexpectedly.

Criminal Minds is a good show, unless you start profiling on your own and start looking for the unsub. Once, while working in a jewelry store, someone robbed another of our locations not far away. Before long, I saw the unsub in the mall. I followed them to a restaurant in the mall.

I called the police. They showed up in force. Six squad cars. Guns drawn, they brought the people out of the restaurant and made them lay down, face down. Yes! I got 'em. They'll rob no more. Only one problem. It wasn't them. So, I completely terrified a family who were just trying to attempt to have a nice, family meal.

I slipped out of the crowd which had accumlilated to see the the bogus circus, and went back to the store, very embarrassed, but unscathed by the false alarm. Following that, I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, even if they really looked like crooks.

Not long after that debacle, a man came into the store, carrying a bag. I helped him, even though he insisted he was just looking around. He finally left and walked down the mall and robbed a different jewelry store. bag

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a suspicious looking character walking his dog.

See you tomorrow.

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