Cleptomania

I have an amazing ability to find objects just before people lose them. The police call it theft, but I think it's a gift. 

I have a sister in law who steals things from restaurants. Salt and pepper shakers, silverware, dishes - even a waiter one time.

I don’t know what causes people to steal. Perhaps there's the thrill of getting away with it. The adrenaline rush must be amazing. The issue, however, is that the rest of us pay more, to make up the difference.

Theft is a multi-billion dollar industry. There are the casual shoplifters, but there are also professionals, gangs of thieves who work together as a team.

They will Target a chain of stores, know what they want to take, develop a plan and travel across the country, exercising that plan. It's really quite brilliant, though costly and embarrassing for the retailers.

Typically, there are look out people at every door watching carefully for any sign of trouble. There is also a person inside the store, who's sole purpose is to distract the sales person working that area.

A gang of thieves can score thousands of dollars worth of stolen goods in 5-10 minutes. They know how to get through security detectors, as well, making it harder to catch them.

Not long ago, I was in a wal-mart, and I witnessed a cashier pocket a candy bar. I know!  A candy bar. I turned the guy in, and the store did nothing. He handles CASH! They told me it was policy to give someone three chances.

Really? Three chances? How much is the guy stealing, other than a candy bar? The thing is, he knew I saw him do it, and did it anyway. He knew he could get away with it without reprocussion.

I think thieves should be fired on the spot. I don’t care if it's a candy bar or a diamond ring. Instant termination. Done. No second chances. Zero tolerance. String 'em up.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure this box looks just right before I return it to the store.

See you tomorrow. 

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