Bucket List

Yesterday, I jumped in a cab and said, "Follow that car! I'm a Federal Agent!" It was a pleasant night in jail, and I can cross it off my bucket list.

All of this nonsense about the world ending did get me thinking about whether I need a bucket list. I did come up with a few:

1. Wear a green cumberbun
2. Survive a cobra bite
3. Drive a car into the ocean
4. See Letterman spray Richard Simmons with a fire extinguisher again.
5. Not see Kim Kardashian - anywhere
6. Sing with Hootie & the Blowfish
7. See the Miami Dolphins win a game
8. Meet an honest politician
9. Wear clogs & a kilt
10. Make a ceramic dragonfly

That's about it. I'm not sure I'll be able to do them all today, but I strongly feel the need to do my best.

Warren Jeffs is an idiot, in my opinion. He allegedly will blame the lack of faith of his followers if the world doesn't end today.

If I really thought the world were ending today, I would be writing this blog in Bali. I would max out my credit, and do whatever I want, only to find myself in my shrink's office tomorrow, like I did back in the 90's, when another whacko predicted the end, based on math. I'm not a math wiz do I couldn't disprove him. I discovered where the math wizards reside. In collection agencies.

So, I'm going to assume that we're outside the path of a giant comet or android. Just to be sure, I think I'll add one more item to my bucket list. I'm going to hang out with Bruce Willis today.

I'll really see you tomorrow.