Hoarders

The only difference between a yard sale and a garbage pickup is how close to the curb the stuff is.

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We should change the name of garage and yard sales to "Hoarders R Us" and be done with it. The season is coming, where the junk sales will be on every street.

I know a few people who are very knowledgeable about antiques, but that's all they'll buy. When they find a gem in disguise, they make a lot of money selling it.

But, let's face it. Most people who frequent these sales are addicted. They can't help themselves. Bargains! It doesn't matter what the junk is, they must have it! They're Black Friday shoppers. The first ones in line to get the free hot dogs the local furniture store is giving away this weekend.

They love to haggle. The savvy seller knows that and jacks up the price so there's room for the haggle, but they still make the desired profit. Just like a store. If you're going to have one, and you're a novice, a word to the wise: lock your front door. The frenzied hoarder will wander in and the next thing you know, they're haggling you about the price of your refrigerator, which is not even for sale.

I had what I think is the world's first "do it yourself" yard sale. I had a bunch of junk to get rid of, so I decided on a yard sale. I couldn't handle haggling with people, so I put out a large table, filled with junk and the rest of it on the grass. I put a coffee can on the table, with a sign that read "put what you think it's worth in the can." I left for the weekend, fully expecting to come back and find half of the junk gone, with an empty can. When I returned, I was astonished to find everything gone, including the table, which I not intended to sell, but the can was there, with more than $400 in it. Amazing.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get my stuff together for opening weekend.

See you tomorrow.

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