Magic Bacon

If I have to eat anything I hate, I put bacon on it and it becomes delicious!

I don't know what it is with bacon, but somehow it's magical. People say that God's greatest creation is man. I disagree. It's bacon.

Why bacon? I love ham, but nowhere near bacon. It comes from the same animal, so why the difference?

Bacon makes everything taste better. Everything except bacon. There would be no point to add bacon to bacon. You're likely to get locked up for that.

I don't know why all cheese burgers don't include bacon. Those who don't want it, can ask for it to be removed. Even pastrami burgers should include bacon. Sure, it may clog your arteries, but they can fix that now, and you can continue the bacon fest.

Chicken, pizza, steak, salad, spinach, casseroles... The list goes on and on. Even liver! Yuk, unless there's bacon on it. I forgot about eggs, other sandwiches, and wraps. And what about bacon wrapped hot dogs?

It's no wonder that my wife doesn't buy it. She knows what would happen, and she (gasp) doesn't like bacon! Who doesn't like bacon? Insane people, except for my Jewish and vegetarian friends. Insane.

Some just don't know what they're missing. Let's address turkey bacon and fake bacon. Are you kidding me? What part of a turkey tastes like bacon? None! Just get the real thing. Really.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go to see a man about becoming a pig farmer.

See you tomorrow.